Tales of High School
by Frexspar69
Summary: What would it be like if the ToS cast was replaced with high school stereotypes? Find out in Tales of High School: An Epic Story of Adventure, Acne, and Hormones! Rated T just in case.
1. The Scary Man and His Scary Van

**Tales of High School: An Epic Story of Adventure, Acne, and Hormones **

Written by Salaamiboy36

I do not own Tales of Symphonia, Namco Tales Ltd., or any related characters, settings, situations, or otherwise trademarked items.

**Chapter I: The Scary Man and His Scary Van**

"Keimig, wake up!" came Mr. Preheim's angry yell, "Keimig!"

Jake yawned. He had never actually fallen asleep during one of Mr. Preheim's oh-so-exciting scientific documentaries before, although he had come close. 'Let's Learn About Grass' was just too boring to sit through for an entire forty-five minutes. Seeing the devilish look on his teacher's face, Jake immediately sat erect in his chair and paid attention.

"Continuing on, grass is very important to the Earth's ecology due to the fact that…" Mr. Preheim droned on in his monotonous voice.

Jake found himself slowly slipping back into la-la land. He was glad for laws on child abuse; otherwise Mr. Preheim would probably make him stand in the back of the class with buckets on his arms and erasers in his face. He wondered if…

"Keimig!" Mr. Preheim yelled, causing the room to jump. Jake silently groaned and sat upright again. Nobody else had been paying attention, either (except for maybe Stephen and Nikki, but then again they always paid attention). Why did Mr. Preheim have to pick on him? "Were you sleeping again?" Mr. Preheim continued.

"No," Jake said in complete honesty, "I was just thinking really hard."

Mr. Preheim wasn't convinced. "I believe that! What were you thinking about?"

"Politics," Jake answered truthfully.

"Fine, then! Someone else will answer the question! Stephen! Question! Now!" Mr. Preheim bellowed.

"OK! Luke, the hero, brought about the end of the Ancient War on the Holy Ground of Kharlan by signing the treaty that ended the war," Stephen said smartly.

"Right. I'm glad someone pays attention in class," Mr. Preheim said with such obvious hostility that Jake was afraid of erasers and buckets again. Mr. Preheim started back into his lecture-mode. "After that, Luke formed a pact with Whitney to seal away the Nazis whom caused the war."

"But the Nazis came back and are making everybody suffer!" Jake exclaimed, "And weren't we talking about grass a minute ago?"

"We already covered that, Keimig!" Mr. Preheim angrily declared, then slowed down to his 'you-are-so-stupid-why-am-I-even-bothering-explaining-this-to-you' voice, "When the seal weakens the Nazis reappear, just like they have now. Then the Chosen One goes on a journey of regeneration."

Jake was baffled. How did weakening water mammals relate to Nazis? What was the Chosen trying to regenerate, anyway? And how was she chosen? Did she enter a contest or something? What did any of this have to do with grass? Seeing his confusion, Nikki slowly slipped Jake her notes.

"Chosen One!" Mr. Preheim called out. After a moment of silence he yelled with a slight temper flare, "Mellinger!"

Ashton Mellinger jolted into a standing position. She hadn't been paying attention, either. "Yessir!" she exclaimed in panic.

"Sit down!" Mr. Preheim yelled. Ashton did as she was told. "What's the journey of World Regeneration about?" Nikki raised her hand high in the air.

"Uh…it's…I don't know," Ashton answered. Nikki's hand waggled a bit as she stretched it higher and higher.

"The Chosen doesn't know…the _Chosen _doesn't know what the World Regeneration Journey is…that's just pathetic," said Mr. Preheim. Nikki looked like she was about to explode. "What, Daniels?"

"It's a journey to seal away the Nazis! Upon passing the trials of Whitney, the Summon Spirits of the world awaken and mana is restored!" Nikki said breathlessly.

"Great. I should expect Daniels to know that one" said Mr. Preheim, "Moving on! Dried grass can be spun into a synthetic herb mostly used for…" Mr. Preheim was interrupted by a brilliant flash of light emanating from the Whitney Temple.

"Whoa…" said Jake.

"Ooh…" said Ashton.

"No cameras in school! If that was a cell phone, then someone is going to—" said Mr. Preheim while whipping out the board eraser.

"No, Mr. Preheim!" Nikki corrected, "That light was from the chapel!"

Mr. Preheim sighed. "Fine, I'll go and check on the chapel! Daniels! Come with me! I don't know anything about this kind of stuff."

"Then why do you teach it?" Jake asked skeptically.

"Shut up, Keimig!" Mr. Preheim yelled.

"Professor! I'll go—" Ashton began.

"Shut up, Mellinger!" Mr. Preheim yelled again, "Everybody needs to sit down, shut up, and read!" He and Nikki left for the Whitney Temple.

Jake immediately rose from his seat and tried talking to his fellow classmates, but they were all too excited about the oracle to talk about anything else. He desperately needed help on his science exam, but nobody else seemed to know anything about grass either. Finally Jake gave up and decided to gyp class. He knew that Mr. Preheim wouldn't be back for about an hour or so, and it was really hot in the classroom.

As he headed for the exit, Stephen stopped him. "Where are you going?"

"Um…nowhere…" Jake lied.

"Mr. Preheim told us to stay here and do research," Stephen said, "He'll kill you if he finds out you're cutting class."

Stephen had a good point, but Jake still didn't want to stay in the classroom. "Yeah, but…it _is _research!" Jake lied again. He knew that he would have to make up some excuse, so he quickly formulated a plan in his mind.

"What are you going to do, anyway?" Stephen asked.

"I'm going to study at the Whitney Temple," Jake decided.

"He told us to _stay here _and do research," said Stephen.

"No, he told us to sit down, shut up, and read," Jake remembered, "So as long as I'm sitting down and reading at the Whitney Temple I'll be all right."

"But…that's…" Stephen was struggling to find words to describe how bad Jake's excuse was.

"Hey, Ashton! You wanna come, too?" Jake suggested.

"Huh?" said Ashton.

"You wanna go to the Whitney Temple with us?"

"Us!?" Stephen exclaimed.

"Okay, I guess so," said Ashton.

"You guess so? Aren't you excited?" Jake asked.

"About what?" Ashton asked.

"You're the Chosen! You're going to receive the oracle!" said Jake.

"Jake, weren't you confused about all of this a minute ago during class?" Stephen asked.

"Shut up!" said Jake, "I borrowed Nikki's notes…" There was an awkward silence as Ashton and Stephen reflected upon Jake's ADD problems. "Let's get going!" Jake said hurriedly.

"Yeah!" Ashton agreed.

"I still don't know if I wanna…" Stephen complained.

"C'mon! C'mon!" Jake insisted, dragging Stephen through the school's archway. The school's funds were so low that they couldn't even afford to have doors installed inside the schoolroom. Jake was very concerned about the government's refusal to raise educational funds. He supposed that the Republicans were behind it, but he really didn't know because his TV had been repossessed since Dirk, his foster parent, was working for minimum wage. Maybe the Senate should…

"Jake! Open the door!" Ashton called, driving any thought of politics from Jake's mind.

"Right! Door!" Jake reminded himself as he pressed onward.

Ashton's father happened to walk by just as the three teenagers were leaving the school building. "Hi, Dad!" Ashton called.

"Frank!" said a grateful Stephen. Surely Frank would send the three of them back to school.!

"Ashton! The Nazis attacked the Temple!" Frank informed the group.

"Is the rest of the village safe?" Jake asked.

"Yes, everyone was evacuated safely. Ashton, you should go to the Temple," Frank suggested.

"But the Nazis are there!" Ashton exclaimed.

"No buts! Do you want me to take away your cell phone?" Frank threatened.

"Fine…" Ashton mumbled.

"That's my little girl! Here's some money!" said Frank.

_Acquired 1000 Gald_

"Yay, Daddy!" Ashton cried, suddenly perky again.

"Be careful," Frank warned, "I don't know why the Nazis have broken the non-aggression treaty."

"You mean that treaty where they don't attack the village as long as we don't go near the ranch?" Stephen asked.

"Yes…that's why it's called a non-aggression treaty," Frank pointed out.

Jake sighed. "I'll go to the Temple, too." His thoughts of skipping class to go and see the new James Bond movie were fading away swiftly. At least going to the Temple would give him something to do.

"Come by my house if you need help," said Frank as he turned to enter the nearby video store.

"Bye, Dad!" said Ashton.

"Bye, Frank!" said Jake.

Stephen couldn't believe his ears. "Wait, so you guys are going to the Whitney Temple where the Nazis are? Are you stupid or something?"

"If Ashton goes there by herself, she'll get creamed," Jake reasoned, "And she's not going to change her mind since her Dad bribed her with 1000 Gald, which is more than Dirk makes in a year on minimum wage."

"Why is it that you always have to be the nice guy?" Stephen wondered aloud.

"Hey! Is it wrong to be nice?" Jake retorted, although he realized afterward that he needed to work on his comebacks.

"It can be! Like when there are Nazis involved! Do you even know what a Nazi is?" said Stephen.

"I know that they're really bad!" said Jake. Stephen proceeded to explain to Jake exactly what a Nazi was. Meanwhile, Ashton had already reached the village's exit where a scary man was loitering with a scary van.

"Hey there, sweet thang. Where you headed?" asked the scary man.

"Um, who are you?" Ashton asked skeptically.

"I can be anybody you want, baby…" the man said seductively.

"That's…gross. I think I should go now," said Ashton as she made a break for the gate. The scary man caught her by the arm.

"C'mon. I've got some baby kittens in my van. Don't you like kittens?" said the man, "I'll give you some candy, too…"

"Guys! Help!" Ashton cried.

Jake rushed over to the gate, while Stephen yelled at Jake for being too nice for his own good.

"What's wrong, Ashton?" Jake asked, although it was painfully obvious what was wrong.

"It's a scary man and his scary van!" Ashton called.

"I thought the area where the Temple was located was a sanctuary! Why would a hobo…" Stephen thought aloud again.

Jake wondered why the scary man would have such a scary van. It was probably somehow related to minimum wage laws. Dirk's car had been repossessed and so he had had to ride Noishe, their mutant dog, everywhere he went. Also, it appeared that the scary man had kittens in his scary van. Jake liked kittens. He had had many kittens in his lifetime, but they had been repossessed because Dirk couldn't afford…

"Jake! What are you doing? Get over here!" Ashton yelled as she was carried by the scary man into his scary van.

"Stop!" Jake cried, running up to the scary man and whacking him with a wooden sword.

"They got me!" The man randomly turned into a zombie and ran at Jake, who hit him with his swords of wood. Ashton threw stuff at him and Stephen recited pi. Eventually the zombie died, even though that wasn't logically possible.

"If that had been a Nazi, we all would've died!" said Stephen.

"How is a Nazi worse than a zombie? I hardly see the logic in that," said Jake.

"He's got a point," said Ashton.

"Besides, Nazis can't be that tough. I've got my Exsphere, after all!" said Jake.

"Oh yeah, that's right. Jake's a wimp who has to use an Exsphere to give him a cheap advantage in battle," said Stephen.

"Shut up!" Jake yelled, "If you're gonna say it, make it sound good!"

"How would I do that?" Stephen asked.

"It's designed for combat and brings out my maximum strength," said Jake.

"Wimp," said Stephen.

"You're one to talk," said Jake.

"Hey, you guys! Come over here!" Ashton called from inside the scary van. As Stephen and Jake entered the van, they saw a whole litter of kittens mewing.

"Aww, they're so cute!" said Jake affectionately. The kittens lunged at him, scratching him with sharp claws and biting him all over. "Ack! Get off! Get off! Get off!"

The kittens turned into a zombie and a ghost. Jake groaned. "Not another zombie!"

"Be glad it's not a Nazi!" said Stephen.

"Wait! Mr. Preheim said that ghosts and zombies aren't real, so maybe if we pretend they're not there they'll go away!" Ashton suggested.

"Right! Mind over matter!" said Jake.

"You're all hopeless…" said Stephen.

The three closed their eyes began to chant, "They're not real, they're not real, they're not real, they're not real…" Eventually the ghost and the zombie grew bored and went off to scam the townspeople into buying band instruments.

The teenagers opened their eyes and saw an empty field. "It worked! I knew it would!" Jake cheered.

"So we've actually learned something from Mr. Preheim…" Stephen said to himself.

"Stephen, why do you always talk to yourself?" Ashton asked.

"What are you talking about?" Stephen asked.

"Never mind," said Ashton.

"I just thought of something," said Jake.

"What?" asked Ashton.

"Didn't Mr. Preheim say he was going to the Whitney Temple, too?" said Jake.

"Oh…" said Ashton, a look of panic crossing her face.

"Uh…it'll be fine," said Stephen, obviously not too sure of what he was saying.

"Right…" said Ashton. With that, the trio of troubled teenagers left Iselia for the Whitney Temple, worrying about who or what might greet them when they arrived.


	2. A Ring, an Old Hag, and a Man in a Dress

**Tales of High School: An Epic Story of Adventure, Acne, and Hormones**

_Disclaim: I still don't own Tales of Symphonia, Namco Tales Ltd., or anything else that I didn't own in the last chapter._

**Chapter II: A Ring, an Old Hag, and a Man in a Dress**

Ashton Mellinger, Jake Keimig, and Stephen Black were on their way to the Whitney Temple, a sacred haven where an oracle was going to be conveyed to the Chosen One, Ashton. Unfortunately, according to Ashton's father, evil Nazis had attacked the Temple. The three teenagers could only hope that they wouldn't arrive too late. However, their minds weren't quite focused on their objective…

"Hey Ashton, what's the Whitney Temple like?" Jake asked randomly. He had obviously been thinking hard about something that only Jake would think about.

"Well…it's dark," said Ashton.

"Thanks, that really helps," said Jake sarcastically.

"Well, I can't really explain it! It's like…" said Ashton, struggling to find the words to describe the Temple.

"…Dark?" Stephen guessed.

"Yeah, that," said Ashton with a laugh. She decided to give up on telling her friends about the Temple. She would take her cell phone into the Temple with her and take pictures for the two guys instead. That would be easier.

"Look out!" Jake cried as a grotesquely misshapen black blob ran at the group. Upon closer inspection, the blob was revealed to be a hawk and a rabbit disguised as a disfigured blob. As the two animals attacked the group, Jake and Stephen started fighting back.

"Why are we fighting small animals?" Ashton asked.

"They'll drop items!" Jake explained. Ashton didn't get it, but she attacked anyway. Once again, she threw things while Stephen recited pi and quoted famous physicists. Jake gave the animals splinters with his wooden sword. After the battle, Ashton thought she heard Jake muttering something about weapons or a lack thereof.

Eventually the three students arrived at the Whitney Temple, where they found a huge staircase leading up to what must have been the Temple. A bright white light (hehe, I rhymed) emanated from the Temple's roof. "Everyone, look at that light!" said Stephen, even though the other two had obviously noticed the blinding flash.

"That's so cool!" said Jake.

"Hold up, lemme get a shot!" said Ashton, snapping a picture of the light with her phone. Looking at the picture, she moaned, "Aww, some bald guy got in the way!"

"Mr. P-p-preheim!" Jake cried in dismay.

Ashton realized the danger of the situation. She looked toward the Temple and saw Mr. Preheim slowly walking down the stairs, clutching his chest. He reached the final step and collapsed on the ground. "Mr. Preheim!" she cried.

"Hey, are you all right?" Jake asked.

"Jake, you _are _too nice for your own good," said Stephen.

"The Nazis…attacked the Temple…" said Mr. Preheim, "They have broken the non-aggression…treaty…"

"You mean that treaty where they don't attack the village as long as we stay away from the ranch?" Stephen asked again.

"Of course, you dumb…weren't you supposed to be the smart one?" said the teacher. Stephen silently cursed his bad memory. "Never…for…get…that…gr…ass…" He never finished his sentence.

"No!" cried Ashton.

"It's no use. He's…gone," said Jake solemnly.

The three teens took a moment to reflect upon the monk's death. While Ashton hadn't really liked Mr. Preheim very much, she now felt guilty for every time she had dozed off during one of his documentaries. "I'm going," she said firmly.

"What!?" cried Stephen.

"I'm the Chosen. It's my job to accept the oracle on the Day of Prophecy," said Ashton, more to convince herself than anyone else.

"Don't do it! The Nazis will get you!" Stephen warned.

"I'm the Chosen, remember? I'll be fine," said Ashton, although she didn't quite believe what she was saying. In fact, after seeing Mr. Preheim die, all Ashton really wanted was to go home and cry herself to sleep. As overwhelming as the situation was, she knew what she had to do.

"I'm going, too," Jake decided.

"Don't play the hero, Jake! Save yourself and forget about Ashton! She's just going to die!" said Stephen. Ashton knew Stephen hadn't meant to be so cruel, but the words till stung.

"Shut up!" said Ashton, barely suppressing tears. She kicked Stephen in the leg, sending him tumbling down the staircase.

"Yeah! Go eat leaves, fishface!" said Jake, "Let's go, Ashton!"

_Wow, _thought Ashton, _Jake's comebacks really need work._

Stephen stood up, brushed himself off, and groaned. Unfortunately, his conscience had overpowered his logic. Stephen hurried after the group, wondering if Jake's bad influence was contagious.

As the three reached the final step, Ashton saw her grandma being interrogated by two fake Nazis and a man in a dress. The Nazis were obviously fake because they stood in a mindless position with their arms curved out in front of their bodies. It looked forced and unnatural, even for a Nazi. These were obviously robots.

"Like, do you know where the Chosen is?" asked the cross-dresser in a surprisingly squeaky voice.

As if in response, the poor old woman noticed the three teens standing frozen on the steps. She struggled to make out the familiar figure of her granddaughter. The old hag had terrible eyesight. "…Ashton? Is that you?" asked the old woman, indicating Jake.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jake yelled.

"Drat," Stephen muttered.

"Master Justin, there she is!" said one of the robotic Nazis with a waggling index finger aimed at Ashton.

"Omigosh!" said Justin, "Your life is like, so mine!" Ashton wasn't quite sure what the cross-dressing man meant by 'Your life is mine,' but it made her feel uncomfortable. Justin ordered his two robotic Nazis to attack the group.

For once, Jake's attacks were useless. Jake would normally do all of the fighting with his swords while Ashton and Stephen tried to help, but ultimately wound up screwing things up. However, indestructible Nazi robots can't be harmed by wooden swords. The group appeared to be doomed.

Stephen had an idea. He began to recite pi as usual, but stopped at the fifty-eighth number. "That's the exact equivalent of pi!" he proudly declared.

"Incorrect data…correcting…" said the first robot. It then started to recite pi, and eventually overloaded itself with too many numbers.

"Haha! And I didn't even use an Exsphere!" said Stephen triumphantly.

Ashton was having similar success with her own opponent. "Surrender to us, girl!" said the robot.

"I know you are, but what am I?" she said.

"I am not a girl. I am a robot. You are a girl," the robot answered.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Ashton repeated.

"You are a girl. I am not," said the robot.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Ashton repeated again.

"You are a girl," said the robot.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Ashton repeated again.

"Data…overload…" said the robotic Nazi. Its head popped off and flew off into the distance.

"All right!" said Ashton, running up to Stephen and giving him a jumping high-five.

"See?" said Stephen, "Just because we don't have Exspheres doesn't mean we can't fight!"

"I wouldn't really call that fighting…" Jake mumbled.

"Shut up!" Ashton and Stephen snapped.

"Look out!" Jake called out suddenly.

"Do not get in our way!" a voice came from behind Ashton's back. She turned to see a morbidly obese robot with sickening facial hair. It wore tights and was swinging a spiked ball on a chain above its head. The three teenagers were scarred for life. They all fell down onto their knees and shielded their eyes.

"It burns…" Stephen mumbled.

"Ugh, this guy is so gross!" Jake exclaimed. Just as they were about to give in to the mental anguish, a mysterious figure clad in a football jersey jumped in and tackled the grotesque robot to the ground. The guy stood up and let his long red hair blow in the wind. He still hadn't shown his face.

"Wow, he's so dreamy…" said Ashton.

"I know," said the mystery man. He turned around, revealing his face to the group.

"André!?" Ashton exclaimed, "Eww, I called you dreamy!"

"Who are you?" Jake asked.

"I'm Andr—LOOK OUT!" exclaimed the new guy. He barely saved Jake from the fat robot's spiked ball, which had been knocked into the air by André's tackle.

"How are we supposed to beat them? There are a million robotic Nazis over there!" said Stephen. Stephen's words

"There's only one way. We've got to play football," said André.

"I like, totally love football!" Justin cheered, "Let's play!"

The game went on for two hours. Jake scored two touchdowns, but always seemed to be running the wrong way. Therefore, both of his touchdowns counted for the opposing team. Stephen managed to score a field goal and a one-point conversion. Ashton tackled fifty-six robots and frequently passed the ball to the guys on her team. André scored nine touchdowns and the corresponding nine field goals. The Iselia Hornets beat the Maize Nazis by a landslide!

"We were having fun! Why'd you have to show up?" Justin complained afterward, "Come on, Little Michael!" He beckoned to the fat man in tights to leave. 'Little Michael' obliged, and the other Nazi robots followed suit.

"You're good at football!" Stephen exclaimed.

"Yeah," said Ashton

"Well, he's not that good…I mean, he's pretty good…but…not really…" Jake mumbled.

"That was nothing," said André arrogantly, "I do that everyday!"

Stephen noticed a small blue orb planted on the back of André's hand and silently noted that André was only good at football because he had an Exsphere.

"Ashton?" said Grandma, "Is that you?" She had walked up to Jake and was staring him down from head to toe.

"I'm over here, Grandma!" Ashton called.

"Quiet, you! I'll have you know that I hate men!" snapped Grandma. She turned back to Jake. "I think I should know the Chosen when I see her. After all, she's my own granddaughter." With that, the old hag left the scene.

"So he's the next Chosen?" asked André in surprise, "But Luke said…"

"Oh yeah, I've got to accept the oracle!" Ashton remembered, "I'm going to go through the trial now."

"Trial? What trial?" asked Jake.

"Don't you ever pay attention in class?" said Stephen.

"Sometimes…" Jake muttered.

"She must mean the monsters. Can't you feel the evil flowing from the chapel?" said André.

"But it looks like the monks who were gonna help me all ran away when the Nazis came," said Ashton.

"Then I'll be your bodyguard!" Jake offered.

"…Jake? I wouldn't feel safe with just you," said Ashton.

"Gee, thanks," said Jake sarcastically.

"Your name's Jake?" André asked.

"Y-yeah! But…but…who are _you_?" said Jake defensively. His comebacks still needed work.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything. It's just that Jake is a cool name and you're not really…" André didn't need to finish.

"You didn't answer my question. Who are you?" said Jake with damaged pride.

André turned to Ashton. "I'm André Vieyra. As long as you'll go out with me, I'll protect you," he said.

"Eww! No way!" Ashton shrieked.

"Fine, then! Don't go out with me! Geez!" said André.

"I'm coming with you guys!" Jake insisted.

"No! You'll get in the way!" said André.

"What am I going to get in the way of?" Jake asked.

"Our love!" said André.

"Jake, you can come. I get creeped out when André's around," said Ashton.

"Awesome! Let's go, Stephen!" said Jake.

"I have to go, too?" Stephen complained.

"Of course! Hurry up!" said Jake, latching on to Stephen's ear and dragging him along. "Thanks, Ashton."

"It's the truth!" said Ashton cheerfully. The four teens entered the Whitney Temple.

The inside of the Temple was dark, cold, and clammy. The framework was dilapidated and old. Some of the support beams had fallen apart, blocking several passageways. The walls were painted a rather ugly purple color which made Ashton feel queasy. Whoever had designed the Temple must've had seriously messed up tastes.

"Man, this place is ugly!" Jake commented.

"So's your face!" André snapped.

"No! I'm pretty," Jake said to himself.

"André, it's just a purple wall. Some weird guy painted it 4000 years ago. Chill out," said Ashton.

André was about to say something in the wall's defense when Stephen interrupted. "Hey, you guys! Get over here!" he called. When the rest of the group caught up with Stephen, they found a brilliant blue force field blocking a passageway.

"Whoa, this thing is awesome," said Jake in amazement.

"Look behind it. There's a thing at the end of this corridor that will let us go to the top floor," said André.

"Yeah, the monks who live here used to have a ring they used to turn this thing off, but…" said Ashton.

"So the monks have the ring?" asked Jake.

"No, I'm pretty sure they put it on this cushion thing when they weren't using it. I can't really remember that well," said Ashton.

"So I guess we should look around?" Stephen suggested.

"Okay," said André.

"Yeah!" said Ashton.

Jake groaned. He was bored with the Temple already.

Much to Jake's dismay, the group scoured the Temple for clues. Eventually they discovered a stairwell guarded by a strange creature made of slime. "What is it?" Jake asked.

"Eww! It's gross!" Ashton squealed.

"Don't worry, Ashton. I'll protect you," said André in the manliest voice he could muster.

This battle was different from the previous battles. André happened to carry a sword with him wherever he went, which was helpful. Unfortunately, swords aren't too useful against wads of slime. Stephen helped more than André. While Stephen was reciting pi, he somehow managed to shoot fireballs out of his hands. He wasn't too sure how this was possible, but his fireballs helped to defeat the slimy monster.

With the monster out of the way, the four teens were free to climb down the staircase. At the bottom was glass platform with holes scattered about it. These holes were seemingly bottomless, and Ashton tried to avoid straying near one for fear of tripping and falling in.

While carefully stepping around these holes, she suddenly found herself face-to-face with a stone golem. "Whoa!" she cried out in surprise, nearly falling backward into one of the pits. She found her balance just in time.

"Ashton, I'll save you!" André called, heroically swooping down and attacking the golem. Once again, his sword appeared useless. He slashed and slashed, but he ended up denting his sword more than the golem. While Ashton was throwing things, she found a large hoop in her purse (called a chakram) and tossed it at the stone creature. The monster curled up into a cube-shaped stone. Ashton called this technique "Ray Thrust," even though it really had nothing to do with rays or thrusts.

With the golem defeated, the group could focus on finding the ring. It didn't take long to find. The ring was lying on a cushioned pedestal right next to the glass platform. There was a path leading up it, but there were large gaps in the path which prevented passage.

"See? I told you it was on a cushion!" said Ashton proudly.

"Yeah, but how are we supposed to get to it?" asked André.

"Oh, I get it!" Stephen cried. He walked over to the curled-up golem and pushed it into one of the holes. The golem fell through the hole and landed on the path, thereby filling one of the gaps. Another golem magically appeared from nowhere and walked around on top of the platform.

"That seems kind of complicated…" Jake complained.

"Why don't we just jump down there and grab the ring?" Ashton asked.

"Yeah, that would be pretty easy," André commented.

"But the rocks…" Stephen mumbled. He hated it when the others didn't listen to him. Although he had to admit, their plan did seem much less difficult.

Ashton leapt from the glass platform and strode up to the pedestal. She grabbed the ring and ran back. "Here, Ashton! Let me help you up!" André offered.

"No thanks. I can get up myself," said Ashton coldly.

"Can I try it out? Pleeeeease?" asked Jake.

"Okay," said Ashton.

Jake slipped the ring onto his finger and waited. Nothing happened. "What's it supposed to be doing?" he asked.

"Point it at something and think really hard about making it do something," Ashton explained, "But don't think about any of us."

Jake thought about his wooden swords and how the ring would affect them. Almost immediately, he smelled smoke. "What the…?" he exclaimed, "Oh my gosh!" He pulled out his sword. It was on fire! He waved it around for a bit, and the flames jumped off of the sword. The fire moved along the ground in a straight line, eventually dissipating. Jake called this skill "Demon Fang," even though it had nothing to do with demons or fangs.

After dubbing the ring "The Sorcerer's Ring" because it appeared to be magical, the group climbed the stairs again, and made their way to the mystical blue force field.

"So I've just got to think about this thing and the Sorcerer's Ring at the same time, right?" Jake asked.

"Right," said Ashton.

"Okay," said Jake, "Here goes nothing." After a moment of silence, the force field faded away.

"Whoa, it worked," said Stephen, "I didn't really think it would."

"Let's hurry up," said André.

"Yeah, I'm tired of these ugly purple walls," said Jake.

"They're not ugly!" André yelled.

"Whatever you say," said Jake. The group proceeded to the teleporter (which was also purple) and traveled to the highest level of the Temple, where Ashton would receive a gift from the angels.


End file.
